When Judy Graybill’s relationship ended ten years ago, she joined the 70% of stepfamilies who break up. Despite their love for each other, Judy and her ex couldn’t find a way to resolve their issues and make it work.
She was heartbroken, angry and resentful and wanted to get to a place of healing and happiness. Judy discovered the Stepfamily Foundation, where she learned that her experiences were very common. She was able to identify the cause of her breakup and heal by learning more about stepfamily dynamics.
Becoming a certified Stepfamily Coach through the Stepfamily Foundation was a no-brainer for Judy - she wanted to help other families who were struggling with the same issues. Having a background in psychology and sociology helped her transition successfully into stepfamily coaching.
As a speaker, educator, and writer, Judy Graybill “helps stressed out stepparents and their spouses argue less and relax more”.
Contrary to what many people believe, having love for each other is not enough to make a stepfamily work. In fact, it’s the exact opposite and Judy explains why that is.
Biggest Challenge for Blended Families: Difference in Parenting Styles
Judy explained how different parenting styles can add stress to blended families. When both adults have their own way of raising their children, this can lead to arguments and tension unless they know how to communicate and work through their differences.
Another level to this challenge is co-parenting with the ex. Instead of having 2 adults raising children, blended families may have 3 or 4 adults who are involved. It can be very challenging to raise children in an environment where all the adults have different parenting styles and can’t agree.
Risks Associated with Unhealthy Blended Family Environments
Children who grow up in families with tension, constant arguing and unresolved issues often don’t learn how to have healthy relationships as adults. They are at greater risk of having multiple relationships and potentially divorce, according to Judy.
They tend to have low self-esteem and lower grades than children in stable families. In extreme cases, children drop out of high school or run away from home to try to escape their unhealthy environment.
3 Starter Questions to Create Positive Change your Family
Judy recommends that couples ask themselves these questions. She cautions that if you identify everyone else except yourself for question #1, then you may not be ready for change.
When working with her clients, Judy uses these questions as a baseline to identify the root of their issues. She co-creates a plan that helps couples resolve their issues. During their time together, Judy frequently checks in to see how they’re progressing and determine if any adjustments to the plan are needed.
Judy discussed ‘conscious uncoupling’ as a goal for blended families.
The term ‘conscious uncoupling’ applies to separated or divorced couples. It is the idea of being conscious of how your actions affect other people. When you are conscious of this, you are able to set your feelings aside and deal with them in private so you protect your children, your ex and others from certain behaviors directly related to your feelings.
This can be difficult for couples who end explosively, but it’s something that both parties can work toward. For couples who separate on a more amicable level, such as growing apart or falling out of love over the years, achieving conscious uncoupling is often an easier process.
Conscious uncoupling is beneficial to everyone involved. If you’re struggling with your feelings and finding it hard to cope, you should seek professional help.
Judy’s Tips for Starting A Passion-Based Business that Helps Others:
Judy’s Suggested Resource:
Hay House Radio, that offers 24/7 all-talk radio on mind, body, and health topics. You can listen live or purchase a membership and listen to pre-recorded shows.
She is offering co-parenting workshops in the Phoenix, AZ area. Judy teaches parents how to transform strained relationships into working co-parenting relationships. If you’re in that area, contact Judy for more information.
She’s creating information products to help families heal strained relationships and help stepfamilies become resilient to the challenges that usually break them apart. Judy has created a Blueprint for Change and is working on a 6-week course.
Where You Can Find Judy Online
Facebook: Judy Graybill and Stepfamily Coach
Judy’s Parting Words of Wisdom:
“Be willing to challenge your own beliefs. It’s one of the hardest things to do, but it can be one of the most liberating.” ~Judy Graybill
I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Moms With Dreams Show!
If there’s something that you want to share, please leave your comments below and I will be sure to respond.
Would you like to be a guest on my show? If so, send me an email at Erica@momswithdreams.com.
If you’re not already a member of the Moms With Dreams Community, I would love to have you join us!
Visit Moms With Dreams and sign up to receive your 5-Day Time-Finder Guide. This guide will help you find time in your week so you can start your journey toward your dreams.
You’ll also get inspiration, tips and strategies from me to keep you moving forward in your journey.
I invite you to connect with me on social media and join the Moms With Dreams Facebook group by clicking here.
I look forward to meeting you!
To Your Dreams & Success,
Sara Speicher is an international bestselling author, an entrepreneur, a mom, and a wife. She helps female entrepreneurs build flexible businesses around family time. She goes beyond marketing strategies, sales scripts, and confidence exercises. She integrates her consulting and coaching expertise and designs profitable business models for on-the-go moms.
In this episode Sara tells us how she developed an interest in consulting as a college student and how her early years as an entrepreneur felt like a dream.
After returning to her business from maternity leave, Sara realized that she was no longer fulfilled. In order to figure out the right direction to go in, she turned inward and starting identifying her inner strengths and what she was truly passionate about. Sara discovered that she wanted to serve her clients on a deeper level. That’s when she transitioned into business consulting and coaching.
How to Tap Into Your Inner Strength and Find Fulfillment
Sara recommends reading the book, Strength Finder 2.0, by Tom Rath and taking the assessment. This will help you learn things about yourself that you may not know right now.
Sara believes that as a busy mom pouring a lot of energy into your business, it’s important that you enjoy your work. If you don’t enjoy your work, it’s harder to stay motivated and keep going when you’re taking care of your kids during the day and pulling all-nighters to complete work for your business.
As Your Life Evolves, So Will Your Business
Sara explained how you need to make adjustments in your business as your life evolves. She gives the example of a family having a second child and how the business will take a back seat to the new baby. You, as the business owner, will need to make decisions about how you will adjust your business to fit into your new life.
As your children grow up they will need you to be present in different ways. Again, being aware of this and prepared to adjust your business operations will serve you well.
The same is true in your relationships. Be flexible and willing to adjust your business hours so you can devote time to your significant other.
How to Avoid Getting Overwhelmed As You Build Your Business
Sara shared her tip on increasing your energy while closing sales. When she has to close an important sale or have a conversation with a client, Sara stands up and walks around to increase her energy flow. She suggests watching powerful Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. Click here to watch this video.
Circling The Sun, by Benka Pulko.
An inspiring story written by the first woman who traveled the world on a motorcycle. This personal development book inspires you to examine your personal strengths, your desires, and your dreams.
Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and the Competition Irrelevant, by Renee Marborgne & W. Chan Kim.
This business book teaches the strategy of creating ‘blue oceans’ that consist of fresh, “untapped new market spaces”.
Both books are available on Amazon.
Sara is working on a new product that helps moms build businesses that create a lifestyle of freedom and flexibility.
She is offering a free PDF guide for listeners of today’s episode. Simply send her an email at Sara@saraoblakspeicher.com and mention that you heard her interview on the Moms With Dreams Show podcast to get your copy.
Where You Can Find Sara Online:
Facebook: Her personal profile is Sara Oblak Speicher.
Sara’s Parting Words of Wisdom:
“One dream can change your life.”
Visit http://momswithdreams.com and sign up to get your 5-day Time Finder Guide, to help you find more time and get more done each week. While you're there, leave a comment about this week's show and I will be sure to get back with you.
Would you like to be a guest on the Moms With Dreams Show podcast? Send me an email at Erica@momswithdreams.com so we can talk about it.
To Your Dreams & Success!
I had the pleasure of interviewing Erica Castner, a certified coach who’s known as the “Queen of Results”. Erica is passionate about the personal development of women and has built a business that helps entrepreneurs achieve the results they want. She is the host of the Proclamation of Persistence podcast series and hosts weekly calls where she provides practical advice for working moms.
In this episode Erica tells us how she became known as the Queen of Results and why she kept that title and built a brand around it.
Check out the highlights from my interview with Erica.
Erica’s take on overcoming doubt in your ability to succeed as an entrepreneur:
Erica recognizes that women often have doubts about their abilities to succeed as emerging entrepreneurs. With access to so many resources, and witnessing the success of others, new entrepreneurs can become overwhelmed and begin to question whether or not they have what it takes to be successful.
Erica believes that having resources to show you how to start and run a business are important. But even more importantly is your mindset. In Erica’s opinion, the best way to develop a winning mindset is to get help from a professional such as a coach, counselor, or mentor or join a mastermind group.
Hiring a coach provides accountability and keeps you focused on moving forward with your goals.
How Erica helps women create results in their businesses:
Erica works with entrepreneurs in her mastermind group, helping them strengthen and grow their business. Her primary focus is building a business through networking and partnerships. Her mastermind provides access to resources that help new entrepreneurs connect with established business owners and potential clients. Erica teaches her mastermind clients how to create a professional social media presence and utilize different platforms for business growth.
Erica’s Best Business-Building Tip:
Build a network early on in your business. You don’t have to build your business alone, despite what you may think. Establishing relationships and partnerships will accelerate your business much faster than doing it solo.
Adjusting to Stepmom Life:
Erica was “gifted” into step-motherhood when she married her husband, Ed. She admits that it was challenging in the beginning, but her family worked through it by creating honest, open lines of communication. This helped her stepchildren feel comfortable voicing their feelings and concerns and also helped Erica adjust in her new role as stepmom.
Hop on over to http://momswithdreams.com to learn about Erica's current projects and how to connect with her online. I'd love to hear your comments and answer any questions that are on your mind.
If you're not a member of the Moms With Dreams Facebook community yet, I would love for you to join us by clicking here.
Maura Sweeney is an author, podcaster, international speaker, world traveler and a Huffington Post blogger. Her mantra is, “living happy – inside out” and she was recently named Ambassador of Happiness by UNESCO Center for Peace. A former corporate manager, business manager and home schooling mom, Maura stepped out of her comfort zone to pursue a lifestyle career and invites others to join her in doing the same.
Maura can be seen everywhere – from around the block to around the globe looking for great people, great stories, and good news to share.
In this episode Maura shares her journey of discovering personal happiness and how you can, too.